Some are hens' teeth...some are MY teeth

Last weekend I was snuggling Uh-Oh Chicken, and the yellowish Ameraucana hen flew up to my shoulder. (Her name, once a seven-syllable clunker of a label, has now been shortened to 'Buddy.')

So Buddy flew up and perched on my shoulder, where she became very interested in the shiny and tasty-looking things in my mouth.

…That is, my teeth.

I had not realized this, but my teeth are apparently reminiscent of corn. The more Buddy sat right by my face trying to look into my mouth and peck my teeth, the funnier it was--which exposed ever more teeth for her. Amy, instead of helping me, took these glamorous photos. They remind me of Buster Bluth from Arrested Development, during his "unfortunate encounter in a photobooth".

I POOP ON YOU

The most dangerous angle from which to appreciate chickens:

from directly below.

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS CAMERA ANGLE AT HOME, OR SITUATE YOURSELF THUSLY.

Things might go along smoothly for a couple years. You and the chickens might run a nice, clean little operation for quite some time. But sooner or later, if you spend time beneath the roosts... chickens gonna getcha.